Archive for the ‘Brainal Leakage’ Category

center

Posted: September 30, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

wandering to the center of the universe, stars drift by like leaves in the wind
observing beautiful chaos, in an orchestrated disaster,
destructive intentions with constructive results, the creation of a masterpiece
hidden in the deep, masked inside of nothing, right before your eyes, yet unseen to all
swirling into forever, bringing me infinity, and always inches out of reach
out stretched arms will tremble, the clueless with follow and take their place
fitting together like pieces of the puzzle, without effort and only by chance

2/19/11  sm

being

Posted: March 8, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

i try to be, but there is nothing inside
killing, feeling, healing
as suns will rise, this fire will burn

i reach to find, but feel this heart unkind
grinding, binding, finding
as leaves will fall, this face will turn

i turn to look, but see this reflection not mine
fleeing, seeing, being
as stars will shine, this soul will yearn

i walk through this door that i find
leaving, grieving, believing
as minutes will pass, this man will return

sm 3/7/11 – 11:34:41pm

a man not knowing

Posted: February 16, 2011 in Brainal Leakage



in this life we all have our place, in this place we have our purpose,and in this purpose we find our home- but to find this place, comes a long journey where we must gain the will.

and on this journey we have our experiences, and in these experiences we gain skills, and with these skills we find our ability to make this journey – but to get our  experiences for this journey, comes many lessons to learn and much pain to endure

and to come upon these lessons and to feel this pain, we must come with curiosity and courage -but to know that you must take this course, is fates choosing…?

a man not knowing, will encounter his pain, and learn his lesson, with much struggle and tears.
quickly he moves on.

a man with new knowledge will encounter his challenges and fail, face his fears and cower.
yet he moves on.

a man with new wisdom will learn the path to his home, and endure the journey with weary feet, for days on end.
determined he moves on.

a man with nothing left, will reach his home with nothing more to gain, but knowing he is at home, with a lifetime to give. and that is his purpose…and he is fulfilled.
and there he stays.

sm

piece of mind

Posted: February 15, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

while some waves may still ripple, and uncertainty still remains
the waters may yet rise, as black skies still threaten rains

but from here things are clearing, the sun breaks through
storms move off into the distance, the clouds no longer block my view

that which seemed to be taken, and drifting out of reach
has returned with sanity, and brings new wisdom to speech

with it come the comforts, inspiration and strength, to lead
the confidence  and courage, when faced with adversity, i need

no longer the panicked grasping, at a skillfully painted mirage
no more is the fear to cross the dangling bridge, or to scale the crumbling walls

for within every struggle, a valuable message is given
and i am reminded of who i am, in this life that i live in

in retrospect, you see, the storm was real and the war was true
but the enemy was not… i now know, ‘this battle is within you

that which was my anchor, was never the disturbing force
all this time, moving away, it was i who had drifted off course

with every accusation that this life was pushing me astray
truth is, it has always been me, who was just wandering away

only as winds were changing  and the currents had shifted
did i see, i could get closer, the less that i resisted

as days passed and nights went by, with many a helping hand
stability was returning, and rock replaced the shifting sand

so now with renewed spirit of an unmatched kind
i come back to my true place, i got home just in time

returning from this unforgettable journey, to find a piece of mine
i retake my position with determination, pride and peace of mind

sm

in turn

Posted: February 9, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

for he who only speaks it, can not truly know it , and he who knows it, can not convey it in words, to postpone the punishment due, at the blight of others, a cowards choosing, he must reveal his true self, in the face of adversity, in turn, he must take his place on the cross, he will never question his choice, there will be no recognition, there will be no appreciation, there is no reward for repairing that which was first unbroken, and those spared, will never know the pain he now holds inside, the sacrifice unspoken, the screams unheard, the twisting never felt…and days will pass, but the remnants will always remain, beneath he harbors the war within, on the surface  a steady calm, a smile in knowing, a rejoice in being, a satisfaction in perfecting, to what does he owe this, to all but himself, he forever lives undeserving, forever owing, and never to forget. sm

sunrises…

Posted: February 8, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

the sunrises, and for once, i rise with it. today is a special day. when i conquer my biggest weakness, i will no longer be limited by myself. the world is mine for the taking, and take it i shall. open mind, open eyes, open doors. maybe it is time. time to decide, time to be what i am supposed to be, not what i have allowed myself to become. as i grow from the inside out, i realize my place in life, in others lives. as i answer all the questions that create doubts and distort my focus, with answers etched in stone, my path becomes clear. as the path lights up, i can move in the right direction once again. i pick up the remnants of what this is, salvage what i can and leave behind what only weighs me down. for this i am better, but this is not the place for me to stay. and i move on.  so let the path weave, and stray, but never let us lose ground on our destination. our purpose. our journey. rise and fall…and rise again. beat me down and break me, i remain…it resonates with me…it motivates me and it keeps me out of the darkest of holes where many go to die. not i. surely..not i. i accept this challenge, taking the wildest bull by the horns, perseverance in the face of sure demise. not on this day, i will not lay down.  let this new build take his place. maybe, it’s time. sm

Hello world!

Posted: February 5, 2011 in Brainal Leakage

hello world. so…a blog. neat. i wish i had something insightful to say, or some advice to give. but alas i do not. just senseless senselessness. so let it begin. there is something theraputic to typing for me. the select few who know me, know this. a select few, of course those few who selected me worthy of an ear.

I just got a new super silent keyboard. It seems my typing can be annoying to some within immediate object throwing distance. i suppose it can be, but those on the flip side of my meandering via comments don’t seem to mind. Its a nice keyboard, i think i will get to liking it and its even better that it allows me to type in congnito at full speed and recklessness.

and now…who will read this..and why? I often wonder this about the billions of blogs that i have never read…who really…i mean REALLY cares what a random person, with nothing better to do, has to think? <- me. A place to voice an opinion, or share a thought with the hopes that someone out there is listening or relates.  my uncensored thoughts will probably be mildy entertaining to me, at least. As soon as i figure out why i care to type something to no one , i’ll probably stop. but until then. it should give me somewhere to be and somewhere to spill my head, for therapy’s sake.

so hello world…welcome to my head. just know this, you’re my last resort. when my talents are not requested elsewhere, you might find me here…when i have something deep to say, i might show up…when no one else is there to answer my plea for attention…i shall pour a drink, mute the tv and crank up some music…and type, for typings sake.

starting now… and go!